June 21, 2026 | Adam, Eli, and David: A Warning to Men
Adam, Eli, and David: A Warning to Men
Genesis 3:1–7
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. (ESV)
1 Samuel 2:22–25
Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting. And he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people. No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?” But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for it was the will of the LORD to put them to death. (ESV)
1 Kings 1:5–6
Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” He was also a very handsome man, and he was born next after Absalom. (ESV)
In “Adam, Eli, and David: A Warning to Men,” George Waller warns that some of the most serious failures in Scripture came through passive men who failed to take responsibility when God had called them to act. Adam shows the danger of silence, standing by while God’s Word was questioned. Eli shows the danger of weak correction, speaking against sin but failing to restrain it. David shows the danger of indulgence, loving his son without confronting him. Together, these examples call men to humble, sacrificial engagement in their homes, friendships, church, and ministries. The hope of the sermon is found in Jesus, who succeeds where these men failed and gives grace for men to repent, lead with courage, speak truth in love, and faithfully care for those entrusted to them.
Transcript of Adam, Eli, and David: A Warning to Men
It's Father's Day
When Jon got up last week and started teaching Ecclesiastes, I thought, This is gonna be easy. I'll just be able to just follow Jon. This will be amazing. It'll be easy to plan for. Jon saw me afterwards and said, Are you gonna be doing Ecclesiastes or something else? And I'm... And he goes, Oh, it's Father's Day. I went, That's right. It's Father's Day. Happy Father's Day.
So actually, as I thought about it, as I prayed about it, I realized that it might be appropriate that men, we have a conversation, and ladies, you get to listen. And, you don't get off the hook, though. At the end of the time this morning, I have a request of you ladies.
Adam, Eli, and David: Examples of Passivity
But guys, I want to invite y- you on my journey as a young husband, young father, friend over the years in an area that I more often than not failed in, I suspect would be the right way to say it. so I wanna share this morning what these three men, Adam, Eli, and David, teach me to be warned about as a man, to be careful about.
A year-- number of years ago, in 2019 I think, a Christian pollster took a poll of something in the neighborhood of 3,000 families Oh, we're cleaning off the- We're just making it easier. Oh, we're just doing housekeeping. 3,000 families. these 3,000 families, the question they were asked was to the teenagers in those homes. Who had... That's one way to fix it, Brian. Who had the greatest influence in your life from the time you can remember going to school until today? And most of these teenagers at this point were anywhere from 16 to 19 years of age.
The remarkably high number across the country of all socioeconomic levels said that their mothers were the ones who most influenced them spiritually, intellectually, socially. In fact, this pollster at the end of the time, George Barna, made this comment. He said, Many wives experience male passivity as carrying the mental, emotional, domestic, parental, and sometimes spiritual leadership load alone.
I want to say to you that as much as I don't like to admit it, in my years as a father, as a husband, I think Judy carried most of that alone because of my passivity. I'm not proud of that at all. But what I will say to you is, guys, I want to encourage you, whether you're 80 or eight that the time to become committed to no longer being passive is now.
One of the greatest dangers facing the family and the church today is not aggressive men. That is a problem for sure within the family units, and not to be taken lightly. There's all kinds of examples of physically abusive men in homes, no question about it. But a far greater danger from where I sit is passive men.
Many of us picture failure as doing something reckless, immoral, destructive. yet some of the greatest failures in scripture occur because godly men fail to do what God has entrusted for them to do. Passivity is often the sin of omission rather than commission. It's remaining silent when I should speak. It's watching when I should act. It's about avoiding when I should engage. It's surrendering the responsibility that God has entrusted to me. The Bible gives us several sobering examples, and Adam and Eli and David are those.
They're very different men, Adam was created in innocence. Eli's a high priest. David's the greatest king of Israel. Yet they all three had one common failure in their lives. They became passive at critical moments. Their stories remind us that leadership is not merely about having authority. Leadership is about accepting responsibility.
On this Father's Day, I wanna examine their failures and I wanna consider how we as men can avoid repeating them in our homes, in our churches, in our friendships, and in our ministries. Because if we're not purposeful about that, I think the natural inclination of the flesh is that we will in fact be passive when it's the last thing we need to do.
Adam, The Passivity of Silence
So let's look at Adam, the passivity of silence.
Turn with me to Genesis 3. Beginning in verse one, I'll read. Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?' And the woman said to the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.' But the serpent said to the woman, You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. And she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
Now let remi- re- let me remind you of something that has taken place prior to this moment. Back in Genesis 2:16-17, before Eve's even around God comes and he says to Adam, From any tree of the garden you may eat freely. But from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die. So Adam's failure began long before he ate the fruit.
If you go back to Genesis 3 in verse 6, you see there the key word here is that she gave some to her husband who was with her. Adam was not absent. Adam was present. He heard the serpent. He witnessed the deception. He observed the attack on God's Word Right in front of him. Yet, he remained silent. He stood there and remained silent.
Now, the Hebrew text emphasizes his presence. He stood there while q- Satan is questioning God's character and God's commands. God had specifically given Adam responsibility to guard the garden. Back in Genesis 2:15, it says that God put Adam in the garden to work it and to keep it, and the Hebrew word there for keep means basically to guard, to watch over, to protect. That's the job Adam has here. Adam was assigned the role of being a protector. Yet when the spiritual danger arrives, he became passive.
So what does Adam teach us? Many men confuse presence with leadership. And we can sit in the same room with our family and be absent. We can live in the same house and in- fail to engage our household family spiritually. Be five feet away. We can know our children are struggling, know it, and say nothing. We can see destructive influences entering our homes and refuse to address them.
Adam's problem was not ignorance. He knew what was happening in front of him. It was silence. Silence.
It's like a father who has a teenager who's becoming increasingly cynical about his faith. He spends hours in the online community consuming content that's hostile to Christianity. The father sees it. He knows it. And yet he tells himself, He's just going through a phase. That's it. Just going through a phase. Months become years. Conversations never happen. The silence becomes costly. Leadership requires more than observation. It requires engagement.
So as I think about this, I think about, okay, that's true. How do I apply as a man, how do we as men apply that to ourselves on this Father's Day as husbands?
One, I would suggest that we must initiate spiritual conversations with our wives. Initiate, not react when they bring something up. Lead.
Secondly, I would suggest that we must pray with our wives. That doesn't mean once a year or on, at the table asking the blessing.
And thirdly, men, we must protect our marriages from harmful influences. Adam did not protect Eve or the garden, and now we know, or humanity. Silence has created a royal mess.
As fathers, it is Father's Day. When I think of Adam, I think, I must know what's shaping my children. Dads, what is shaping the soul of my child? I must know that. And I must speak truth lovingly, not harshly, not condemningly, lovingly. But I must speak.
And a big one, I must not assume as a father that somebody else will take the responsibility of discipling my child like the youth director or the school teacher or the guy across the street who my child goes to and plays with his kid and he's a good man.
Men, parenting is engagement and it's not silence.
What about his friend? What do I learn from Adam as being a friend some things that come to my mind is, am I a friend enough to ask the hard questions of my friend? Am I? Do I love you more than myself? Adam loved himself more than he loved Eve I would suggest, and thus he was silenced. Do I love you more than I love myself to ask the hard questions?
And kind of corollary to that, with my friend, if I have earned the relational capital by friendship over the years, I think it's incumbent on me as a friend to lovingly confront sin.
And lastly, I think we must refuse to let brothers drift from God without warning them. Engagement.
Adam teaches me a lot about the ac- absolute danger of silence.
Eli, The Passivity of Weak Correction
Eli, the passivity of weak correction. Turn with me to Sa- 2 Samuel Chapter 2. 2 Samuel chapter 2, verse 22.
Now Eli was very old. And he heard all that his sons were doing to Israel, and how they lay with the women who serve at the doorway of the tent of meeting. And he said to them, Why do you do such things, the evil things that I hear from all of these people? No, my sons. For the report is not good which I hear the Lord's people circulating. If one man sins against another, God will mediate for him. But if a man sins against the Lord, who can intercede for him?
But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for the Lord desired to put them to death.
Eli knew exactly what his sons were doing. He knew it His sons abused their priestly positions, and they were committing serious sins against God and His people. Eli knew this. Verse 22, it says, Now Eli was very old, and he heard all... I like what the ESV, how it translated. It says, He kept hearing. This wasn't a one-time event. Somebody came and said, Hey, Eli, I don't know if you know this, but... This was ongoing over a long period of time. Eli had heard and heard and heard and heard what was going on. So this was not a surprise. This was not a one-time incident. Eli knew. Eli spoke words of rebuke to his sons. He did. He spoke. But he failed to take any meaningful action.
You ever heard the phrase talk is cheap? Eli's talk was cheap. God later says in 1 Samuel 3:13, the reason things begin to domino like they do, God says, Eli did not restrain his sons. The Hebrew word there for restrain means to check, rebuke, or stop what they were doing. He called them out on what they were doing. He identified it. He knew it. But he didn't do anything. No action.
So Eli's failure was not a lack of information. His failure was a failure to act on what he knew. Wow. As I think about myself, I said, what do I learn from Eli?
I think many men mistake concern about something for leadership. We worry, we discuss, we complain, we feel burdened about such and such and so and so. But leadership requires action. Eli talked when he should have intervened. He warned when he should have disciplined. He observed when he should have acted. Man, have I been guilty of that.
Imagine a father who repeatedly sees destructive actions in his child. He notices dishonesty, he notices rebellion, he notices disrespect coming from this child. And yet every time correction becomes necessary, he backs away from the conflict because it feels uncomfortable. Years later, the consequences of those choices become far more painful than the conversation he avoided. The price of delayed leadership is often greater, much greater than the cost of courageous leadership. I've seen that in my own life. I've seen that in the lives of others.
So Eli is a great lesson in a passivity that creates great damage because of lack of action.
So as a husband, I think, how does this impact me at 74 with my wife, Judy, today? I think action would be I address relational problems early on. Guys, you know that moment in a home where it just feels chilly? You know what I mean. Just, just doesn't feel right. That is not a time to say, Oh, she'll get over it. Oh, it'll get better. This'll blow over. No, that's a time we address what's going on. We refuse to allow bitterness to grow. We lead in difficult conversations with humility, not with anger and arrogance and challenging, but we come in humility. What's happening? What do we need to do? How do we meet God in this moment? We take action not to give place to darkness in our marriage.
As fathers, discipline consistently and lovingly. Establish clear boundaries with your children. Remember that correction is a part of love. Whenever I avoided correcting my kids, whenever I offloaded discipline to my wife, whenever I did that, I think, men, we need to call it what it is. I'm loving myself more than I am my kids or my wife.
And as a church leader, as a mentor, as a friend, men, we need to speak the truth when it's necessary. One of the greatest, expressions of the flesh in my life and greatest curses of my leadership was people pleasing. Person A would come and see me and I-- they'd be telling me, I'd tell them exactly what they wanna hear 'cause they wanna be pleased with me. Person B would come and tell me this is what they're thinking about the same thing, but it was different than person A. I'd tell them exactly what they wanna hear because I didn't want them to reject me and I wanted them to be pleased with me. That is not courageous leadership. That is selfish love of me.
Eli, I like him, would rather not take action and say, This is wrong. This is what we're gonna do. That passivity of not taking a position is devastating in relationships and in moving forward on anything, men.
And sometimes, guys, remember that love requires confrontation. There have been a few times in my life In later years, as God showed me the sin of my life and the need to love well required this, that rather than to back away and not be involved and say, that's their problem, if I loved my friend well enough, I told them the truth about what they were doing that was wrong.
Now, I don't have a responsibility with what they do with that. But it is my responsibility as a friend, as a brother in Christ, to say, This is sin before God. Action rather than passivity.
David, the Passivity of Indulgence
David, the passivity of indulgence. Turn with me to 1 Kings 1. 1 Kings, chapter 1 verse five.
Now, Adonijah, the son of Haggith, exalted himself, saying, I will be king. So he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen with 50 men to run before him. His father, get this, his father had never crossed him at any time by asking, Why have you done so? And he was born also a very handsome man, and he was born after Absalom.
So the story of Adonijah reveals a painful weakness in David's parenting. when scripture says his father had never at any time, crossed him or displeased him, some versions will say. that's a heartbreaking verse.
David conquered giants. He defeated enemies. He united a nation. Yet he failed to confront his son as a father. The problem wasn't merely affection. I think David had fond affection, great affection for Adonijah. The problem was affection without accountability. David loved Adonijah, but he failed to lead him. He indulged him, whatever he wanted.
And I can't know this, the why necessarily for sure, but if, it's any, if it's any indication of what I see in my life and in the lives of many others that I have talked with in counseling offices, often that indulgence is simply because I do not want the hassle of the pushback from my child. It wears me out emotionally. I don't want it at their expense. And I teach my child that if you badger me long enough, if you're on me long enough, if you just keep coming at me long enough, I will finally get my way.
Of course, what that does is that prepares my child to live in a non-reality of life, because when they leave home, the people out there are not their parents, and they're not gonna tolerate that. So I harm my child by my indulging them.
Fathers, don't do that.
So what does David teach me? Love and leadership belong together. Many men today want strong relationships with their children, and rightly It's a good thing to want and desire. But friendship cannot replace fatherhood. You can't be just a friend to your kid, and it end well. Children need acceptance. That's true. They absolutely do. No question about it. But they also need direction.
They need encouragement. It's hard out there, right? It's hard. But they also need correction. When we refuse to correct those we love, we often weaken them rather than strengthen them. Real love prepares people for reality.
So what's my application for me as a father? Ask difficult questions, set expectations, teach my kids responsibility. As I think about David and his indulging Adonijah, the passivity of just whatever, just go do it. I think of, as my relationship with Judy, what would I learn from David? I would learn to lead with both grace and truth. Don't indulge. Don't just wipe my hands. Walk with her graciously b- but honestly about my heart, about what I see in her heart. Be engaged.
Refusing emotional disengagement is huge. I see men on our parts with our wives an enormous amount of emotional disengagement. We exist under the same roof, but we are not honestly engaged. We're two people running the business of our household, but we have long since become disengaged from the heart of our wives and walking with them.
Danger. Grave danger. This is what David did with his son. And his son, just like his big brother, decided he would usurp that. He always got his way. I will become king. To which a crisis was created and David had to act quickly and put Solomon on the throne. And what his indulgence of Adonijah did almost cost Adonijah his life, save the fact that Solomon was gracious to say, If you'll behave, I won't kill you. No good thing comes from passivity.
Jesus Succeeds Where These Men Failed
So the common thread. [Adam] failed to speak. Elijah failed to act. David failed to confront. Different stories, different settings, same pattern. Passivity. Each man surrendered responsibilities God had entrusted to him. The consequences spread way beyond themselves. Families suffered, communities suffered, future generations suffered. Rarely, does passivity just remain personal. Rarely.
Now you might be feeling heavy right now. You might see within yourself pieces of Adam and Eli and David. I surely do. But here's the good news. Here's the good news, guys. The good news is that scripture does not leave us here.
Jesus succeeds where Adam failed. Adam stood silent before the serpent. In the wilderness, Jesus was not silent.
Adam failed to guard his bride. Christ gave himself for his bride.
Adam brought death. Jesus brought life.
Jesus is the faithful man that every man was meant to be. And we can be by His grace and by His power.
This is not a high bar if such that we say, That's impossible for me to be. It is not impossible to be a man of God. It doesn't require perfection. It requires courage and selfless humility is what it requires.
Practical Questions Worthy of Consideration
So I wanna close this morning by asking some practical questions worthy of considerations, guys. As a husband, where have we become passive in our marriages? Where have we become passive in my marriage? I don't care if you've been married 51 years, 60 years, two years, or six weeks. Where have I become passive in my marriage?
Have we initiated prayer recently? Have we initiated prayer recently? Consistently.
And are we leading spiritually or simply existing together? Think about that.
And then may I say, we have men, young men sitting in this room who we are modeling what it looks like to be a Christian man, husband, father. They're watching. They're asking What are we teaching? Not by our words. by our action.
As fathers, do our children know our convictions? Have I actually taught them that? Not just in word, but how I've lived, the choices that I've made as a man of God.
Are we having meaningful conversations with our kids? Meaningful. Not who won the World Cup game the other night Although for some of you, that's incredibly meaningful, I get it.
And have we confused providing with parenting? How many dads I've talked to, although they didn't say it this way, but their value structure is, Look, I go to work eight hours a day. I bring home the money. They can buy anything they want. They can go anywhere they want. I provide for them. I'm a good parent.
Provision is not parenting, it's providing. Now, if you don't provide for your home, you're worse than a fool. No argument there.
And as friends, who needs encouragement from us? Let me ask you something. Take, sit here just for a second. Who comes to your mind right now that you know they c- they need a word of encouragement? They need something that you could actually do, a text, an email, a card, a visit. Don't be passive. Who needs a word of encouragement?
Who needs loving correction? Some of us sitting in this room this morning and listening over the internet, some of us have someone that comes to mind that we know something needs to be said If not you, who? Some of the greatest impacts in my life have been people who loved me enough to risk coming and saying, This is not right, George. This must change. And it played a role in my life. What if they had been passive, loved themselves more and been silent? I shudder to think who I'd be today.
Who needs encouragement that you know of? And correction. And who might be drifting while I'm remaining silent.
God Calls Us to Faithful Responsibility
In conclusion, I would just say the lessons of Adam and Eli and David is very clear, it, seems to me. God does not call us to perfection. None of them were. None of us are. He calls us to faithful responsibility.
The opposite of passivity is not domination. It's humble, sacrificial engagement. It's stepping into responsibilities that God has given us. It's speaking the truth when it must be spoken. It's acting when action is required. It's confronting when love demands it. It's leading others toward Jesus.
Lord, may we refuse the silence of Adam. May we refuse the inaction of Eli. May we men refuse the indulgence of David.
Now ladies, I promised you before the end of the message I had something for you. Here it is You need to pray for the men in this church, your husband, your brothers in Christ sitting here, that we follow the example of Jesus. You need to pray fervently that we never, abandon our responsibilities, that we never withdraw from our mission that God has given us, that we never fail those entrusted to our care. You need to pray for that.
'Cause I'm a firm believer that God actually answers prayer. I need your prayers. If no other man in this room would ask it, I ask it. Pray for me that I would be that man, that I have the humility and the courage to lead well.
Let's pray.
Father, we come before you humbled by your Word. We see in Adam and Eli and David warnings that we need to take seriously. Forgive us for the times that we've been silent when we should have spoken, passive when we should have acted, indulgent when really love required action, correction.
Lord, make us men who follow Christ. Teach us to lead with humility, courage, tenderness, truth. Help us to serve our wives, love our children, strengthen our friends, and encourage the men around us.
I thank You, Lord, that Jesus is the better Adam, the faithful Son, the perfect Savior. Where we have failed, thank You, God, that He has succeeded. Where we are weak, give us grace to repent and walk forward in obedience. Make us faithful in the responsibilities You've entrusted to us. For the good of our homes, our church, and for the glory of Christ, I pray. Amen.