June 1, 2025 | Counsel: Walking Together in Wisdom | Proverbs Part 14
Counsel: Walking Together in Wisdom | Proverbs Part 14
Proverbs 11:14 — Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 12:5 — The thoughts of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.
Proverbs 12:15 — The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Proverbs 14:6 — A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding.
Proverbs 15:12 — A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise.
Proverbs 15:22 — Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:31–33 — The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
Proverbs 24:5–6 — A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.
Proverbs 27:5–6 — Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:9 — Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Proverbs 27:17 — Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
In this sermon, Jed Gillis explores the theme of counsel through the lens of Proverbs, highlighting how God uses wise counsel to shape our lives. He begins by showing that counsel is essential for seeking safety, success, honor, and wisdom, reminding us that self-deception often results from neglecting the insights of others. Gillis explains that biblical counsel is more than expert advice; it is the relational sharing of advice, correction, and encouragement among believers.
He warns against common pitfalls: ignoring others' perspectives, hating correction, blindly trusting our own judgment, and accepting all counsel indiscriminately. Instead, he urges listeners to build godly community by seeking and giving wise counsel that is both relational and honest. He emphasizes that true counsel aligns with God's wisdom, not just human opinions, and that it requires humility and openness.
Gillis concludes by encouraging believers to examine their lives: Are they walking in authentic Christian community where counsel is shared and received? Do they actively pursue wisdom by seeking God’s perspective first? The sermon calls for humble dependence on God’s wisdom, lived out through relationships that build one another up in faith.
Transcript of Counsel: Walking Together in Wisdom | Proverbs Part 14
If you want to go ahead and turn to Proverbs chapter 11, we'll start there like last week we'll be in several different passages looking at a specific theme. But I did wanna say at the beginning, uh, after the sermon last week, somebody brought up a great question, a great observation. They said there were a lot of other things that Proverbs says about words.
We only cover a, a small portion really of that theme in the book of Proverbs, and that's definitely true. So I want to encourage you. If there are either, as we go through this, this series, if there are topics that you think Proverbs says something about that topic and we don't address it, one, use it as an opportunity to talk with each other, to read through Proverbs and to consider what do my brothers and sisters around me think about this topic in Proverbs? Might be a great opportunity to, to do a personal Bible study there.
Also, let me know or send an email to me or one of the, one of the people on staff here, because if there's either a topic we don't address or a proverb about that topic that you think, I'd like to know more about that, and we don't talk about it, we have a, a podcast that's really for that purpose so that we can address some other things that don't quite fit into a sermon, some other topics.
So if you said, I'm just picking a random number here. If you said. Proverbs 16 four was your favorite proverb and you'd like to hear some more discussion about it, and if we don't talk, go about it going through it, we'll put it in that podcast format and have a chance just to talk back and forth a little so that you can hear some about that and have a few thoughts or of a place to go from there.
What Good Things Come from Counsel?
As we come this morning to our topic, which is counsel. I wanna start by pointing you to all the things that Proverbs says, come from counsel. In other words, if we were to say, here are some things that if you want them, Proverbs says, you need to pay attention to the patterns of counsel that God presents.
Safety. If you want safety, you need to pay attention to God's patterns regarding counsel.
Success.
If you want to avoid self-deception, all of us want that, right? None of us wants to be deceived and, and actually think we're far better than we are, or far worse than we are. Either direction.
Uh, there's a, there's a funny story from the early 19 hundreds, and I forgot to look up the name of this lady. You could find it, but there was a lady who thought she was a really good singer, and she really wasn't, and this was at the very early part of recordings. So her friends tried to tell her, she wouldn't listen. She kept wanting to throw these parties in her house where she would sing, and her friends, it became actually a joke that they would record her and, and instead of telling her, they gave up trying to convince her, and she's kind of still a laughing stock. Why? Because she was self-deceived about her abilities.
None of us wants to be self-deceived. And if you don't want to, that is one of the benefits that the Book of Proverbs says comes from counsel if you desire to be wise. Now, there's a lot of things Proverbs says lead to that, but one of them is wise, godly counsel.
If you want honor.
If you want to belong with the wise, not just to be wise, not just to like luckily do the right thing, but to say I belong with this group of wise people. Counsel is tied to that in the book of Proverbs over and over.
What is Counsel?
Now when I say counsel, I wanna be clear upfront what I'm talking about. I don't mean just you go to the doctor and you get an expert opinion and he tells you something you could not have known on your own. And that's counsel. It is. That's a form of counsel. I don't mean just going to the professional in any capacity. I don't mean just going to talk to an academic advisor about classes. That's a form of counsel. We call those a guidance counselor. Often that's a form of counsel. That's not all that Proverbs means. I don't just mean going to a business coach and talking about your 10 year plan.
What I mean in, in its simplest form and the way it's presented throughout Proverbs is just talking about things that matter with someone else in a way that includes advice correction, warnings, encouragement. All of those can be counsel. Or we could say it this way, counsel is receiving or sharing different perspectives from imperfect humans. When we talk about human counsel, it's receiving different perspectives or sharing different perspectives.
How to Be a Fool Regarding Counsel
So in order to think about God's patterns regarding counsel, I'm gonna turn my normal question upside down. Most of the time we go through the book of Proverbs and we say, how can I be wise? So today I'm gonna say, here's how to be a fool. If you want to be a fool in regards to counsel, here's how you do it.
First, Don't Listen to Others Regarding Your Plans
The first statement if you want to be a fool, is don't listen to others regarding your plans. In Proverbs, chapter 11, verse 14, familiar verse, for some of us: where there is no guidance of people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.
So if there's safety in an abundance of perspectives from people around you who have different, different insights, different experience, there's safety in that. So if you want to be a fool, don't listen to others regarding your plans.
A similar verse, if you turn over a few chapters to chapter 15 and verse 22. Without counsel, plans fail. With many advisors, they succeed.
Now remember, we have to come back to a what, what are Proverbs? They're describing patterns. They're describing real patterns in God's creation. We all know some examples where we say, that person went against every piece of advice that that I know of, that they received, and yet it seemed to succeed.
We know that, and yet we also know the pattern still holds true. If you want your life to flourish, ignoring the perspectives of other people, ignoring counsel from others is not the best way to go about it. That patterns holds true. Now, that doesn't mean that others are always right. Maybe that's your response. I, I know sometimes that's my response. When someone says, you need to pay attention to counsel and say, well, I've heard counsel about this issue that says two different choices. Which one's right? It or you might receive counsel and you think that really doesn't seem to be the right answer. When we talk about engaging with counsel, I'm not saying pick someone and assume that they're always right and whatever they tell you, do it. Unless you pick God, you can assume he's always right, that's fine. But no human. When you talk about human counsel, I'm not saying they're always right. You aren't assuming that they know everything. But you are saying, I am a limited, finite human being. I need other perspectives to make sure that I don't miss something.
That's why he says in that verse, with many advisors, plans, succeed. Because one advisor may give you help in a blind spot that you didn't see, and another advisor may give you help in a blind, another blind spot. We need counsel. We need others around us.
By the way, this might be harder for us. It's one thing to go to someone. They give you counsel and you say they don't know everything they, they're not perfect. Sure, that's true if you're the one giving the counsel as well. And that can feel harder. That might feel harder if it's a parent counseling your grown children, and you say, this really seems to be the wise thing, and you may be right, but we have to hold both receiving and giving counsel with humility that says only God is always right.
We may be wrong. We share perspectives to help one another to see past blind spots. So first ones, if you want to be a fool, don't get other perspectives on your plans. Don't listen to others.
Why Do We Hesitate to Get Counsel?
And I would ask you to think, why do we hesitate to get other perspectives? Why do we hesitate to get a multitude of counselors?
Probably a lot of reasons. But pride's probably at the base of a lot of them. We want to trust our own strength or our own knowledge rather than counsel from someone else. If you turn over to Proverbs 24 in verse five and six. This one might take us a minute to really trace what he's saying, but it's helpful to see that the depth of what he's communicating here. He says A wise man is full of strength and a man of knowledge enhances his might.
Now we could pause that and say, if you're wise, do you necessarily have stronger muscles? Is that what he is saying? No, that doesn't make sense. So. What's the next part? Four. So he's going to explain verse five and verse six four. By wise guidance, you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors, there is victory.
So think about two rulers, imaginary rulers, although we could use real examples from the Old Testament. Think about two rulers, and you have one who says, I have this mighty powerful army. Forget strategy, forget planning. We're just gonna crush 'em. And you have another ruler who wisely uses the resources. He has plans out how he's going to defend and how he's going to attack. And we could imagine at least the person with the weaker army, but more wisdom wins the battle.
Now that happens in battles with kings, and we could say, I don't have to worry about that. I don't have an army. But how many times in our lives are we tempted to trust our own strength or our own knowledge? In such a way that instead of looking to counsel and wisdom and actually having more strength, we find ourselves just like this picture of a king who says, I've got enough strength to handle it. I don't need to be wise.
See, that's pride. That's part of what keeps us from hearing counsel or in the same vein. Maybe you don't feel it as pride, maybe you feel it as fear. I don't want to appear weak. I don't want to appear like I don't know what to do, so I don't want to go ask counsel.
So if you want to be a fool, don't listen to others about your plans. But turn over to chapter 15 and we'll take that a step further.
Second, Hate Yourself by Avoiding Correction
I'm gonna say it the way the Proverbs says it, and then I'll show you. Proverbs 15, the end of that chapter, verse 31 to 33. If you want to be a fool, hate yourself by avoiding correction.
See, that feels a little strong. I'm not hating myself. I just don't like to be told what to do. Let's read verse 31 to the end, the ear that listens to life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Notice this phrase, whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence. The fear of the Lord is instruction, and wisdom and humility comes before honor.
None of us likes to be corrected, but the pattern Proverbs points you to is to say, if you ignore instruction, if you avoid correction, if you avoid counsel, you actually despise yourself.
You're actually hating yourself by avoiding the correction. Or maybe a little further up in the chapter, verse 12. A scoffer does not like to be reproved. He will not go to the wise. Maybe you don't think you're avoiding the correction, but you avoid talking to the wise person.
Have you ever thought, I don't want to go ask that person's counsel because I'm not going to like what they will say, and I know they're right?
We've all been there. That's actually hating yourself. That's despising yourself to ignore instruction by avoiding the correction or avoiding the wise. And so he says the contrast of that was verse 31. The ear that listens to life giving reproof will dwell among the wise will belong with the wise.
I think probably a lot of us, we think the best we can hope for is to kind of luck into wise choices. We think, no matter what, I'm gonna be a fool, but maybe somehow I won't end up with all the consequences. That's not what Proverbs holds before you. It holds a much better hope than that. Proverbs says, if you follow God's wisdom and trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't lean to your own understandings in all your ways, acknowledge know him. He says, if you do that, not that. You'll still be just as foolish, but you'll somehow luck out on the consequences, but that you can as verse 31 says, dwell, belong with, the wise. That's what God holds before us.
So if you want to be a fool, hate yourself by avoiding correction.
Third, Pursue Honor Before Humility
But verse 33 gives us another one. And honestly, this one might be the most convicting and the the hardest to hear in some ways. If you want to be a fool, pursue honor before humility. Notice verse 33. The fear of the Lord is instruction, and wisdom and humility comes before honor.
Jesus is our example for that. He humbled himself all the way to death, became obedient to death on the cross, and therefore, God has highly exalted him and given him the name above every other name, that at the name of Jesus every knee would bow. The humility comes before honor. That's God's pattern is demonstrated in Jesus.
It's all over our world, and yet so often. We want to pursue honor first. I want to have honor, and then if I can get humility afterwards, okay, great. It doesn't work like that. Pursue honor before humility and you'll be a fool. The path of wisdom is pursue humility first and then find honor. You were never made to walk in wisdom alone, and that's why we're talking about counsel.
I'm curious. Does anybody recognize the name Stephen Callahan? I didn't think so, although I thought long shot. In 1982, Stephen Callahan was in a shipwreck near some small islands off the coast of Europe. He was a sailor. He knew how to survive on the ocean. He was well prepared, but he was in a a pretty rough situation, hops in his lifeboat. Manages to get back to his ship. Got some supplies a couple times, then that ship went down. Nobody knew where he was, like where he started, much less where he ended. He ended up adrift in a life raft for 76 days. He was found in the Caribbean.
He survived catching fish, birds. He had a couple of solar stills that would take rainwater and make it drinkable. It's pretty amazing. Now, we admire that kind of resilience and strength, but I imagine we would all say if you start out with that as your goal, it's pretty foolish. One thing, if you wanna sail across the Atlantic Ocean, good for you. Go for it. But tell somebody where you're going. Right?
We'd say setting out in something like that alone is foolish, but sometimes we want to do the same thing in life. I don't really want to hear counsel. I just want to go do it myself.
Imagine a king or a president, would any of us say they should walk in wisdom alone? No counselors needed there. How about a CEO? He should never listen to other perspectives. He should never seek out other perspectives. No, of course we say that is foolish. How about a pilot? I'm really glad pilots I've flown with have learned from people, right? Should the pilot fly alone on instinct in the fog without either counsel from a copilot or an instrument or an air traffic controller? No. We'd say that that's a terrible idea.
So why do we think that everyone else needs counsel and often think that we don't?
Again, it goes back to pride. God didn't make you to walk alone. So I wanna ask you a couple questions.
Who are your counselors? Who shares their perspectives? People who know you and can speak into your life, they're not perfect. They're not infallible, but they're your counselors.
Flip side of that question, who should you counsel? You say, I'm not perfect. I know that wasn't one of the qualifications. You have a perspective. When you walk alongside people in a relationship of trust, you should share those things and that helps them walk in Wisdom, maybe gives them sight past a blind spot and does the same for you. So who are your counselors?
Or another way to ask this, it's really the same question, but a slightly different angle. Who helps you navigate difficulty in life? Who helps you with your blind spots?
If you want to be a fool, don't listen to others regarding your plans. If you want to be wise, we need to walk together in wisdom.
Fourth, Blindly Listen to Yourself
Second big, big part here is from chapter 12. If you want to be a fool, blindly listen to yourself. Chapter 12 verse 15. The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.
See, we often underestimate our ignorance. We think, here's my perspective, of course it's right. So if you want to be a fool, blindly, listen to yourself. And notice, now, this is not always true in Proverbs. Sometimes in Proverbs you have a verse and another verse and another verse, and they don't seem to relate at all. Sometimes you have these little mini sections of 2, 3, 4, 10, sometimes verses that do connect.
In this case, I believe there's a connection between verse 15 and verse 16. Imagine you are set. You think the way I view this situation is exactly right. You know, I'm supposed to go get counsel. So you go and ask someone, you hear their perspective and you don't like it.
Well, what's my first reaction at that point is I'm gonna go talk to somebody who shares the perspective I like, we all do this, right? And then I'm gonna say, well, I talked to so-and-so about it, but they had this advice and it was wrong, and they just don't understand.
The vexation of a fool is known at once, but a prudent ignores the insult.
When you go to someone for counsel, if you go convinced I'm right and nobody can correct that. You're blindly listening to yourself and you're not getting the benefit that God actually says should come from counsel. So don't decide ahead of time what counsel you will listen to.
We do that too, right? We say, I'm going for advice about this, and I've got two choices. If you'll say either of those are good, I'm fine. But if you say something totally different, I don't even want to hear that one. Don't decide ahead of time what you'll listen to.
We live in a world, you guys have probably heard the term echo chamber. We live in a world with our, our modern social media and targeted ads and Google and Facebook and all these things that a lot of times what we take in is only stuff that Google knows we're gonna agree with.
See, we, we get so blinded and we've essentially determined ahead of time what we'll actually listen to. That's not the wise way to use wisdom. Seek different perspectives. You don't have to think they're always right, but you do have to say, I'm not God, so I may miss something. Seek counsel.
A question. A diagnostic question for you on that point to see, do I blindly listen to myself or am I really willing to hear? Do you seek advice before you make decisions or only after something went wrong?
You don't have to seek advice for every decision. Not saying you need counsel on what to have for breakfast every morning. But so many times we only seek advice. We only seek help after it's blown up.
I wanna say quickly, this happens a lot in marriages where we, we only really seek counsel and help after shots have been fired.
It's one of the things we've been talking about, and this fall we want to start up a marriage ministry that will help to deal with that. To say in between premarital counseling and crisis counseling, we need some work. We need counsel in between those two because none of us has all the answers. We all need other perspectives. We all have blind spots.
Do you seek advice or counsel before the decisions or only after things have gone wrong? Because if it's always after things have gone wrong, probably you're trusting yourself and your perspective until all of a sudden it didn't work and then you think, oh no, what do I do now?
Fifth, Listen to All Counsel
Now, here's where it gets a little tricky 'cause so far. I said, if you want to be a fool, you need to not get input from others and blindly trust yourself. Now, those two seem to make sense to us. We go, okay, stop trusting myself. Start trusting others. Great problem is if you want to be a fool. The next step is listen to all counsel.
Chapter 12 verse five. The thoughts of the righteous are just, but the counsels of the wicked are deceitful. I don't think I have to tell you that not all advice is good.
That's what makes it hard, because we've been told in Proverbs, evil is not always ugly. Evil can look good, but what we see here is that the character of the person giving the counsel matters. The councils of the wicked are deceitful, and if their character matters, by the way, so does yours, chapter 14, verse six says that A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain.
If you come to God scoffing and say, oh, sure, yeah, gimme wisdom. God, I don't think it's here. I'm not interested in what I've heard before, but maybe, sure. Gimme wisdom. God, you won't find it.
So the character of the person who gives counsel matters. The character of the person who receives counsel matters. And when the rubber meets the road, this is our problem. I can't be wise in my own eyes. I need to receive counsel, but not all counsel is good. What do I do, God? And I think sometimes by default we just give up and go back to whatever we happen to think is right ourselves.
But Proverbs 28 says, whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. I want you to think how much it would be changed if I just changed one phrase. If instead of saying he walks in wisdom, if I said, whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who follows counsel will be delivered. Then we'd be in trouble.
We'd say, wait, which council? I don't know which council's good. It doesn't say that though. It says, he who walks in wisdom, the goal is to walk in wisdom. Where does wisdom come from? God alone. Say, well, what does council do then? Council helps me to see God's wisdom because it gives me other perspectives that I might not see on my own. That's why we need each other.
Counsel is not the wisdom. Counsel is a bunch of fallible human beings helping point you to the perfect wisdom. And we see this a couple places in the Psalms. Psalm one 19. David says this, I have more understanding than all my teachers for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged for I keep your precepts.
You see, he doesn't say I have more wisdom because I blindly listen to these people and follow whatever they say. He says, yes, there's counsel. Yes, they have wisdom, but if you are tied to God's wisdom, that's actually the foundation that you have.
Or Psalm 16, I bless the Lord who gives me counsel. In the night, also, my heart instructs me. I've set the Lord always before me because he is at my right hand. I shall not be shaken.
So David says, there's counsel and this council matters. These humans are not always right. So he ties his soul, he anchors his soul so that he won't be shaken in the wisdom of God. Counsel helps him to see that.
So what do you do when you say, I can't trust myself, I need to hear counsel, but I can't listen to all counsel, what do I do with that?
Seek counsel. In a multitude of counsels, counselors, there is safety. Seek the counsel and then take the counsel you receive and consider it with your Heavenly Father who loves you and has more knowledge than all the counselors put together. Compare it with scripture. Ask the father who loves to give good gifts, as Isaias read this morning, loves to give good gifts to his children. How much more will he give the spirit to those who ask? So you ask him for the spirit of understanding that he loves to pour out. And you trust that he uses that counsel to guide you in wisdom.
So if you want to be a fool. Don't listen to other perspectives, blindly trust your own perspective, or listen to all counsel and follow all of it.
If you want to be wise, walk together in wisdom and look to God's perfect wisdom.
What Are the Attributes of Good Counsel?
Now, if you say, at this point, if you say, I'd like to take that, that's how we receive wisdom, let's step out of that and say. I really want to receive wisdom like that. I also want God to use me to share wisdom with other people. I'm not perfect, but I want to be able to give that kind of counsel, that helpful counsel to other people.
So we're gonna go first to Proverbs chapter 13. We're gonna look at four things quickly about counsel, that if you're gonna step into counsel. If this works for receiving it or giving it, but I'm thinking especially about giving counsel. What is it that you need to know?
Counsel is Relational
Start with Proverbs 13, verse 20. Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. I would say counsel builds community, which is another way of saying counsel is relational. When you walk with the wises and you see their council, you start to build a community, a relationship with those people. When you walk with the fools, you start to build a relationship with those people.
In fact, the word there for companion of fools, literally, you could translate it as one who feeds with, or one who shepherds with or is shepherded by depending on how you translate it, fools.
In other words, don't find your nurture and your satisfaction and your shepherding and your rest in the same place that fools find it. That would be a companion of fools. And you suffer harm. Why?
Because think about this. If you just take, take one of those pictures if you find your satisfaction in the same place a fool. Find satisfaction. You start to build a community, you say, we like the same things. The same things shape me as shape you. Counsel, feeding, satisfaction builds community and this text tells us that if you want to have that kind of community with wise people, walk with the wise. And if you want to have harm, feed with the fools.
When we genuinely and humbly share counsel perspectives with one another, not perfect, but share counsel. It builds a kind of community that helps all of us. One of the saddest things that I've heard, and I feel like I've heard it more since being in Knoxville, I don't think it's just a Knoxville thing. When I hear people who say, I've been at a certain church and there's some of 'em are in Knoxville, some other places, I've been in a certain church for a year, three years, five years, 10 years, and I just don't really have real community, or they say nobody really knows me enough to shepherd me. No one walks alongside me enough that they can really give me counsel in this situation.
That's sad. It's part of what church is supposed to be is that we walk together in counsel in wisdom. So if you want this kind of counsel, if you want the benefits of it, you have to open your life. You can't attend church like a consumer. You see, I don't build any community with my fellows, Sam's Club shoppers. I don't. I walk in, I get what I want, I leave. If you come to church with that goal, you don't build any community because you don't open your life in a way that can receive counsel and you're not giving anything out. You're just taking it in.
Instead, if you attend to give of yourself, to build up others, to participate in a godly community, if you open your life so that people around you can share these kinds of perspectives, that council builds community. And if you want to give this kind of council, you have to earn trust.
See, when I hear that, those are the two things I think. I think if you have no community, do you open your life? And the flip side, do the people around you build trust. That's how we grow in this kind of community.
And in our world, especially with the internet, we have another problem. We can tend to get all our counsel from strangers. Because as soon as I have a car problem, I go look on YouTube first.
And if you want to hear investing practices, you can find a million clips of Warren Buffet or whichever investor you like. Telling you what to do, and we think that's what Proverbs is talking about when it says counsel, but that's not all Proverbs is talking about.
Remember, they didn't have the internet, they didn't have mass produced books. They had almost no possible way to get counsel from anybody they didn't know.
We are supposed to have community relationships and counsel that grow together. The problem is when you go to the internet for all your counsel, one, you don't really know the character of that person that you're getting counsel from sometimes. And two, they don't know your life. They don't know the details. They aren't actually helping you see blind spots. They can't say, Hey, I think you, you might have missed something here.
The council is supposed to be relational and it builds community. If you want that, you have to open your life, and if you want to give it, you have to earn trust.
Counsel Can Be Hard
We'll turn over to chapter 27. Second thing about council, if you want to give council, you need to know. First that it's relational. Second, that counsel can be hard if you read verse five and six. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Now, that's not the way we naturally feel. We don't say it's better to have open rebuke than hidden love. That's not our natural bent, but that is the pattern God says is true in his world. And he says, if you want to flourish, you need to know this pattern. Counsel can be hard.
When a friend comes and says, I know you're thinking about this plan, it seems like it might be a problem, and here's why.
Or maybe they're not as careful as that and they come and say, you're doing this, and I think it's a dumb idea. Sometimes we need that actually. Right? Because better to have the wound from a friend than to have the flattery. Oh, great plan. Don't all your money in that speculative penny stock good plan. Probably gonna hurt you.
Right, because counsel can be very hard. If you say, I wanna walk together in counsel. You gotta realize you're talking about walking in a war. Spiritual warfare, ultimately around pride and fear. It's hard, but it is what we're called to. In fact, Romans tells us we're competent. We're able to counsel one another. Not to infallibly give perfect advice, but to share perspectives that help others to grow. Counsel can be hard.
Counsel Makes Friendship Sweet
Third thing from verse nine, oil and perfume make the heart glad and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. This is part of God's patterns for relationships, is that the sweetness of friendship, just like perfume, makes you happy.
Some of you may say, well, it depends on how much perfume, but humor me. If perfume makes you happy, you say smells good, just like that. The earnest counsel of one friend to another is the sweetness of that relationship.
I don't know your experience, but I can look back to my best friends through life, which friendships were the best? They weren't the ones where we just sat around and didn't talk about anything important. They weren't merely shared hobbies, although that could be fun. They were the ones where we sat down and said, man, this situation is going on and I don't know how to handle that. I don't know what to do here. And that person said, Hey, I'll pray for you and here's a perspective.
And then the next day they were coming saying, I don't know what to do here. Or maybe I think I do know what to do here. What do you think? You see there's a sweetness to that kind of walking together.
I thought in all of these pictures here, council builds community council can be hard. Council makes friendship sweet. I thought I'm grateful for the elders here at Brewen Bible Church, and I'm grateful that I get to sit in rooms where I hear counsel and it's sweet and it's hard sometimes. It builds community.
And I look at some of those guys and I think, they're deep friends, because Counsel does this. Honest, earnest counsel perspective sharing, Hey, I hear you're planning to do that. That sounds good. How are you gonna handle this situation? Here's some, here's an idea. Maybe you should do this. That kind of just perspective sharing is beneficial to all of us, and it makes friendship sweet.
Our lives are open enough that we do life together. We'll use phrases like that. Why is that so sweet and wonderful? Because we can have input. It and we can talk with one another in the process. Counsel makes friendship sweet.
Counsel is Mutually Beneficial
And the last one from a verse that most of us are probably familiar with. Verse 17. In chapter 27, iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another.
Counsel is mutually beneficial.
Are You in Real Christian Community?
So I'll summarize if you want to be a fool. Don't listen to the perspective of others blindly. Listen to yourself or listen to all counsel. If you want to walk together in wisdom, build community with the wise. Walk with the wise. Walk with the Godly. Hear their perspectives. They're not perfect, but they might see where you're blind.
So receive that counsel, seek that counsel, build community with the wise. I would ask the question this way, and I think we all fall short of perfection here and probably all have some strengths here. Are you in real Christian community or are you just around other Christians? Are you in real Christian community or are you just around other Christians?
So if you want to walk together in wisdom, build community with the wise, have hard conversations in friendship. That doesn't mean every conversation should be hard, but we shouldn't be shying away from the difficult conversations.
If you walk in close friendship with somebody, they're sinners. They need someone around them to exhort them. Hebrew says to exhort them daily, lest they be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. They may need somebody alongside them who says, you seem like you've been angry a lot lately. Probably not a fun conversation, but they may need that.
So if you want to walk together in wisdom, build community with the wise by sharing perspectives. Have hard conversations in friendship and listen, I'm say this carefully, listen to other perspectives, but be radically transformed by God's perspective. There is nobody in this room that you should follow all of their counsel. There's nobody in this room who's perfect in that. I don't care how much you look up to anyone here.
You should listen. There's only one perspective that should radically transform you every time, and that's what he says in Proverbs chapter three. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Let him radically transform whatever God's perspective is. Let it absolutely transform you without question because he's trustworthy and because his steadfast love and his faithfulness are on you.
So listen to other perspectives and be radically changed by God's perspective.
I'll invite you just to close your eyes and spend a moment in prayer. Talk to your father about whatever he has brought to your mind and commit yourself to following him.