April 6, 2025 | Evil in an Evening Gown | Proverbs Part 8

Evil in an Evening Gown (Proverbs Part 8)

Proverbs 5

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
    incline your ear to my understanding,
that you may keep discretion,
    and your lips may guard knowledge.
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
    and her speech is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
    her steps follow the path to Sheol;
she does not ponder the path of life;
    her ways wander, and she does not know it.


And now, O sons, listen to me,
    and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
    and do not go near the door of her house,
lest you give your honor to others
    and your years to the merciless,
lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
    and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
and at the end of your life you groan,
    when your flesh and body are consumed,
and you say, “How I hated discipline,
    and my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
    or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
    in the assembled congregation.”


Drink water from your own cistern,
    flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
    streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
    and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
    and he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
    and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
He dies for lack of discipline,
    and because of his great folly he is led astray. (ESV)

In his sermon Evil in an Evening Gown from Proverbs 5, Jed Gillis unpacks how evil often comes disguised as something attractive. The chapter warns against adultery, but Gillis highlights that it is also a picture of a deeper reality. Foolishness, like the forbidden woman in the passage, can be appealing and persuasive. It does not always look wrong. It can sound sweet, feel affirming, and appear desirable, which is why relying on what looks or feels good can lead us into destruction.

Gillis points out that Proverbs is not only speaking about physical immorality. The forbidden woman is also a symbol for folly itself. Her lips drip honey, her speech is smooth, but the result is bitterness and ruin. The warning is clear: temptation begins earlier than we think, often in the heart and through words that play to our desires. Whether in self-pity, pride, or resentment, foolishness whispers things that seem right but are deeply harmful.

Folly not only deceives, it also depletes. It spends your energy, steals your joy, and leaves you with lasting regret. Yet the message is not without hope. Gillis emphasizes that God’s wisdom brings life. The passage encourages delighting in the spouse of your youth, but the bigger picture is about being captivated by wisdom itself. Just as marriage is meant to reflect intimacy, trust, and joy, so too is our relationship with God’s wisdom.

The final call is to love discipline, seek wise correction, and rejoice in God’s design. Even if past choices have brought pain, God offers restoration. Gillis urges the listener to ask, “What kind of foolishness looks good to me?” Evil may dress up in beauty, but it still leads to death. Wisdom, however, offers joy, peace, and true life.

Transcript of Evil in an Evening Gown (Proverbs Part 8)

This morning, we're going to be in Proverbs chapter five. As we do that, children, if you want to head out to Children's Church, you can do that. We're always glad to have you in here with us as well. We're gonna be in Proverbs chapter five today.

Opening Prayer

Before we jump into that, I want to pray something for all of us, and I want to explain a little, just briefly what I mean. Do you know how as a, a mom or dad or granddad or grandma, sometimes you just look at your kids or grandkids, or maybe somebody else's kids or grandkids, and you just want to do something to make 'em smile. Just 'cause you love them. You hadn't planned on it. You're not debating am I spoiling them or not? That doesn't really matter at the moment. You just wanna do something, maybe it's small, good to make 'em smile. I'm gonna pray that God does that for you this morning. And for me, he already has in several ways this morning that I could point at and say, God just made me smile.

Vicky read Psalm 1 45 and she didn't know we were about to sing. How Great, but I couldn't help but smile that our father loves us like that. So I wanna pray for us all this morning.

Father, I don't know what you would choose to use. I pray that you would use your word, that you'd use songs we sang or will sing, that you'd use prayers, that you'd use conversations with people, that you'd use thoughts, Lord, anything. I pray that you as our Father that you would be with each person in this room, and that you would just show your goodness. Give us joy through whatever little thing it might be, because you are a good Father, and if we love doing that with our children, how much more do you love doing that with your children?

So I ask that you would let us see you as a loving, gracious Father to us this morning. In Jesus' name, amen.

Why is the Path of Wisdom So Hard?

So far in the book of Proverbs, we've seen the way of foolishness, we've seen the way of wisdom. And I wanted to put all of these together so that you can hear what he's done really in four chapters.

So far, if you pursue foolishness, this is what he says are the results: a trap, calamity, terror, distress, anguish, destruction, death, instability, ruin, a curse, the scorn of God, disgrace, violence, addiction, and blindly stumbling down a twisting and turning path.

On the other hand, here's what he says comes from pursuing wisdom: honor, protection, peace, security, fearlessness, intimacy with God, legacy, life, favor, endurance, refreshment, blessing, gain, self-awareness and hope.

Why on earth is this so hard?

And it's not Like he said, you get all these bad things unless you do this Herculean, amazingly hard task. He said the way to get it is to. Remember God's love, Proverbs three, trust in him in everything, and attentively treasure his wisdom. That's it. No, like, go fulfill these five incredibly difficult tasks and maybe you can get there. No go climb to the top of the mountain and talk to the right guru and bring him the right money or the right flower, or the right whatever. None of that.

All of these consequences of foolishness, all of these results of pursuing wisdom and all you have to do remember God's love for you, trust him in everything, and pay attention to his wisdom.

So why is it so hard?

Evil is Not Always Ugly

And as we move forward in the Book of Proverbs, the next three chapters are going to talk about different reasons why it's so hard for us. This morning, we're gonna take one big point. And that is that it's hard for us because evil or foolishness is not always ugly.

If we always saw it as here's the bad results and we see something ugly that leads us there, and here's the good results, and we see something beautiful that leads us there, it would be easier for us. As uh, or Ray Orland in his commentary, he said, if evil were always ugly, life would be simpler. That's right.

So I wanna say this a couple different ways at the beginning because as we go through the text, we're going to find challenges and issues and questions that get raised, which could cloud the big point, and I want to make sure we don't cloud the big point.

The big point is evil is not always ugly. Or I could say it different ways. Sometimes wrong feels right. Sometimes good looking isn't good. Evil's not always obvious. Or a little more poetically, you could say, wolves don't always howl.

Evil is not always ugly. That means if you and I go through lives and we only look at choices and say, which one seems more attractive to me, we will follow the path of foolishness plenty of times.

A Disclaimer to the Topics of Chapter 5

Now, before we get into the text, if you're familiar with Proverbs five, or if you've scanned it already, you know a couple things about it.

Number one, we'll find that it does talk about sensuality. I don't want parents to be nervous, so I am aware there are younger people in the room, and that's okay. I think we'll talk about it in a way that will not be a problem, but I don't want you to be nervous about it while we start into it.

But you also, about half of you, are women hearing this. And this chapter and some following chapters talk about the picture of foolishness as an adulterous seductive woman. Now, you might hear that and you might think this is not fair.

Number one, men are probably worse in this area than women generally, and I'm a guy standing up here talking to you about it. I get it and if this were the only thing we had, I'd probably agree with you, it's not really a fair representation.

But I want to say a couple things up front. Number one, Proverbs warns against evil men too. Actually, in the first chapter before it says any of this warns against evil men. It does it throughout the book.

Also, this section does portray folly as a woman and as a evil woman, but it also portrays wisdom, the heroine of the story as a woman.

And this was written for a specific situation. We said this earlier. This was written as godly character instruction for young princes of Israel. For young men. But it is inspired scripture. God put it here, so it's profitable for all of us, which means everything this text says about a smooth talking beautiful woman can also be said about a powerful, emotionally responsive man.

Proverbs Five is Talking on Two Different Levels

The big principle isn't really about the illustration, it's about this: evil can sometimes be appealing. Foolishness can be appealing. And in fact, as he goes through these next few chapters, which I need to set up before we go through each one, he's not just talking about literal women, tempting men or literal men, tempting women.

This section of Proverbs is speaking poetically on on two different levels. One, there is the contrast between sensual temptation and purity within marriage. Yes, he does talk about that. But on another level, and really his bigger point, we find a contrast between seductive foolishness and enchanting wisdom.

Now, I hope, we're Berean Bible Church, after all, I hope that if I claim something like that: he's not really just talking about immorality, he's talking about something bigger. I hope you say really, pastor Jed, how do you know that? Because we wanna know what this says, not what I say. So I'm glad you asked.

The Extended Metaphor of Two Women: Wisdom and Foolishness

Throughout the first nine chapters of Proverbs, there's an extended metaphor over, and over, and over again. He starts with wisdom as a beautiful woman. He talks about folly as an adulterous. He says in chapter three, do whatever it takes to get wisdom as your bride who will caress you, literally is how he words it.

As we get into this chapter, we'll see folly as an adulterous, but wisdom paralleled with pure marriage. As we continue, he'll say things like, in chapter seven, make wisdom your intimate friend. We get to chapter nine, and he says, the woman folly calls out with an invitation and the woman wisdom calls out with an invitation. Throughout nine whole chapters, his big point is about wisdom and foolishness.

Plus, notice this organization if you have, depending on your Bible, it may have headings which weren't originally inspired and sometimes are unhelpful. Chapter five says, warning against adultery in my Bible. Chapter six says practical warnings at the beginning, then it goes back to warnings against adultery at the end of chapter six. This organization would fail as a high school term paper, unless he's making a bigger point.

Which he is, and he's making this point: the the teacher here, the father figure, wants the learner to know that the ideal relationship. With the wife of his youth is supposed to reflect his relationship with wisdom. The deeper reality is about the relationship to wisdom. The illustration is about marriage. And the disastrous relationship that we would see in, in adulterous immorality is meant to parallel your relationship with foolishness.

That's good, because otherwise, these chapters might not have too much to say to someone who's not married. But that's not his main point. His main point is about wisdom teaching poetically, and we do need to see what he says in his illustration.

We can't ignore the Bible's teachings about sensuality, and we can't just be quiet about it because our world is not modest about it. Our world is not ashamed at all to talk about what it thinks about sexuality. So let us be people who learn what God says and aren't ashamed to say what he says.

This is for all of us. God, our Father, in essence, what he's doing in this chapter is he's sitting down with all of us as his children and saying, we need to have a talk. Or it's about time we talked about this, and all the teens in the room know what's coming next, roughly, and get uncomfortable. It's probably good for all of us to feel a little of that.

This is for all of us because God, our father wants to have this talk with us. Because we are all tempted to dabble and intimately play with foolishness in a million forms. And evil is not always ugly.

How Do We Pursue Wisdom When Evil is Enticing?

So how do we pursue the blessings of wisdom when evil is not ugly, but evil comes in an evening gown? Let's look at chapter verse one. My son, be attentive to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding that you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end, she's bitter as wormwood sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to sheol. She does not ponder the path of life. And her ways wander, and she does not know it.

Temptation Happens Earlier Than We Think

So what warnings do we need? Here's the first one. Temptations happen earlier than we think. I want you to look again at chapter five, 'cause I, I read this, I studied this for a couple days before I realized this was true. It doesn't say anything about the physical beauty of metaphorical folly in chapter five. If you know the book of Proverbs, you're like, yeah, it does, somewhere in there. It's chapter seven. It's coming, but it doesn't here.

Notice what it says. The lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil.

Now there's a reference in lips. You could say there's a reference of beauty, sure, a little bit. But the emphasis is on speech. So we tend to think what happens? I'm gonna try to do what Proverbs does, and I'm gonna try to talk on two different levels. When someone is tempted towards sensual immorality, we tend to think, oh, that's all about either explicit temptation or something physical or visual. And he says, be careful the words. The words that are said can drip with honey, but can actually lead you to death.

Temptations can come uh earlier than we think. That means the first battleground for purity, which we can talk about on an sensuality, physical level, but we can talk about on a foolishness level too. The first battleground to be purely focused on wisdom, when foolishness tempts you, the first battleground is in words.

The things that are said to you as chapter four pointed out, words come and they assault your heart. Guard your heart, and then be careful what words come out of your heart. We know there's a million temptations in our world, and if I were to talk about the temptations from Proverbs five, maybe our minds go to movies with content we shouldn't see, or YouTube, or internet ads, or billboards, or just people walking down the street. But do we recognize the temptations of a silver tongue?

Maybe to give some examples, maybe it's the woman who praises a married man, when it feels like your wife only criticizes you. At one level. It might seem like, well, that's not really temptation. Yeah, it absolutely is. It's words that drip like honey.

Maybe the temptation comes a lot earlier than you think, when you think, my wife only criticizes me, and you form those words, and those words are folly, dripping, seductive speech into your ear.

According to Wikipedia, seduction...

According to Wikipedia.

Whoever that was, don't be embarrassed.

because I think that's our father saying he loves us. I do. Because I look out at all of you and we have a topic that's a little difficult and we're all like. Let's laugh. That's good.

'Cause it is a serious topic. Folly is going to drip seductive speech in our ears. And when that happens, we tend to say, I'm all alone. I've gotta hide. I've gotta keep my temptation. I'm stiff. Guard everything. No, brothers and sisters laugh together.

That's coming later in the chapter, too.

Maybe it's the speech that Folly whispers in your ear that says you don't need to repent from the evil you did to that person. Doesn't matter if they're your spouse or anybody else. You don't need to repent from that evil, because what they did was far worse. It sounds good, doesn't it?

But it's folly dripping honey off of her lips.

Maybe it's you saying as a husband or a father, I don't really need to help my wife with the kids. That's her job anyway. Maybe it's you, as a man saying something like, I can have a good enough marriage without really opening up myself to my wife, there won't be any consequences from my computer habits.

Wives, if you're thinking about elbowing your husbands, maybe it's the man who seems to understand you when your husband doesn't have a clue.

It's words, it's folly whispering in your ear, and it looks good. That's the point. Evil is not always ugly. If it were always ugly, it'd be easier, but it's not.

Maybe I realize I'm stereotyping wildly. Apologize for that a little. Feel free to apply it to the other gender. Maybe it's you saying, I work so hard, I'm not really responsible for my emotions.

Sounds real good. Folly will whisper that in your ear. Folly will say, yeah, you are impatient, but if you're patient, nothing will really happen.

It sounds really good, doesn't it? Like, there's a part of you that goes, yes, it's beautiful, but evil's not always ugly.

Maybe you aren't married and you're like, either stop talking about marriage or, good I'm off the hook. No, you're not. Uh, maybe you, it's the flattery that comes with somebody who flirts. Yeah, maybe it's not a literal flirt. Maybe it's the other level and it's foolishness flirting with you that says, well, you're not really married, you don't have a family, so you can just live for yourself anyway. Sounds good.

Maybe foolishness uses self pity and says, I don't really have anything to offer married people because I'm not married, so I'll just numb myself and hide away from relationships. That might sound appealing. But evil's not always ugly.

Maybe it's one of our world's favorite lines, teens. You guys hear this one all the time. Even if it's not said exactly this way, you get to define yourself however you want. Which might as well be saying you get to be God. And no you don't. And it sounds good because, oh, sure, I wanna define myself. But evil's not always ugly.

So yes, we can look at this text and say millions of people are tempted every day by immoral people, but long before they fall into physical immorality, foolishness, seduces them. That's what the author of Proverbs wants you to see. So temptations can come earlier than we think.

Evil Spends and Wrecks You

Second thing, even when it looks good, evil or foolishness spends you, like currency, spends and psychologically wrecks you. It spends you.

You notice what he says is he continues in verse seven: and now, o Sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life, you groan. When your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, how I hated discipline and in my heart despised reproof. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I'm at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.

Notice his language, especially verse 10. I think it's the easiest place to see it.

Less strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. In other words, it's like strangers are gonna come and they're gonna benefit from you. You are going to be spent your labors become for someone else.

Immorality turns humans or human bodies specifically into currency to be spent. It dehumanizes us and says, I can go spend this to get security or pleasure, or whatever. It's not me.

Our world wrongly believes that you can separate yourself, who you are, from your body, so that your body can be something like a currency that you spend.

Again, that could be about physical immorality, but it doesn't have to be. Think of the tragedy of a man or a woman who idolize career success so much that they spend their body in their work. To the neglect of their family, to the neglect of God, to the neglect, neglect of their spiritual life, and they're spent over, and over, and over again.

I think we, we can all feel that way, sometimes can't we? We can feel like I'm not just a bank account of energy to be spent.

No, you're not. You're made in the image of God.

Even when it looks good, evil will dehumanize and spend you.

But it also makes you a psychological wreck. I read it a minute ago in verse 11. There's groaning. He's consumed. Again, this is true on this level of sensuality and and immorality, but it's true about foolishness. There's groaning. You're consumed.

It's interesting, even secular psychologists will say things like this. Carl Young, some of you know the name, not really a friend of Christianity, but one of the things he said was, if I could convince half of my patients, no, if I could convince my patients that were forgiven, I could dismiss half of them tomorrow.

It's a secular psychologist saying, half the people who come to me, the problem is they are wrecked because they don't believe they can be forgiven. And his answer was, we gotta make sure you learn how to forgive yourself. That's not deep enough. But Jesus can tell you how you're forgiven. By the one you actually wronged. Not by yourself, but by God.

Evil may look good, but it will wreck you psychologically and it will spend you physically and emotionally.

Notice the way he talks in verse 12. He has deep regret and responsibility. How I hated discipline and my heart despised reproof. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors.

There's nobody to blame but him. He's condemned by his own conscience. Also, notice he doesn't say, well, the evil folly adulterous, she was the real problem, 'cause we do that way too much. We think we're tempted by something, and so the fault belongs with whatever is tempting us instead of with my heart. But he says, you're gonna get to a point where you say, no, this was me.

There is Hope to Turn from Foolishness

Now I wanna, I wanna pause here. Lot of heavy. Let's breathe. But let's also say, this gives us hope because he's not talking to somebody who has gone through and done all this and now died. He's talking to a young person trying to teach them.

So he tells them. Whatever age you are, he says, if you listen to the temptations of folly, it's gonna mess you up, and you'll end like this, but you don't have to end like this. So if we take what he says in verse 12 and 13 and turn it around, that is the hope in 12. He says, how I hated discipline. So if you want to know hope, how do I not end up here?

Love God's training. Don't hate it. Love God's training. Or we could go back to chapter three, let not steadfast love and faithfulness depart from you. Remember, God loves you so much and he trains the child he delights in. So there's hope.

He's not just saying, well, this is where your miserable life is going to end up. Good luck. No, he says, this is where you'll end up if you hate discipline, if you despise or proof, if you don't listen to wisdom and says, no love, wisdom. Value God's correction. We could go back to the words of Proverbs three, trust in the Lord with all your heart.

You think about if somebody corrects you and you say, good thank you. That's because you trust them. If a sports coach corrects an athlete, if you change it, that's because you trust them. If you say thank you, I appreciate it. I coach soccer. Sometimes when I coach soccer, I'll say something to an athlete and they'll say, oh, thanks, coach. And I see them go change it. And you know what that says to me? They trust me.

When God corrects you, do you say, thanks God? Or do you say, I'm a little embarrassed that that had to come up at all, so I'll just pretend it didn't happen.

Verse 13. He said, I did not listen. This is what would happen if you followed folly. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I'm at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. So instead of that, if you want hope, incline yourself toward Godly people, both teachers. Which includes people who wrote God's Word. So God's word. Incline yourself towards them. Incline yourself towards the Godly congregation, the people who you can gather with, who can help you. That's the path of hope.

Or if I were to say it a different way, if you hear evil's not always ugly, and you think, man, I've been seduced by folly too many times and I don't want to be, what's the path? Well. Humble yourself so that you can hear correction. God, I need you. I'm not gonna trust my own path in all my ways. I'm gonna acknowledge you and not lean on my own understanding.

Humble yourself. Walk and learn together. That's just another way of saying incline yourself towards godly teachers in the godly congregation. Walk and learn together.

And love growth. God wants to teach you. Remember we talked a few weeks ago from chapter four. He said, the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.

If you say, my life feels hopeless, I don't think I can follow this path of hope. Go back to chapter four, and what he says is, take one step. Dawn doesn't start at full brightness. Take one step. Loving God and trusting him of following his wisdom, of paying attention to his wisdom. Take one step.

The Way the World Looks at Sexuality

So as we look at temptation and immorality and foolishness, I want to, I wanna pause before I continue on in the text, and I wanna say a couple things about the way our world talks about this stuff.

The World Overvalues Sexuality

In one way, sexuality is overvalued in our world. Even the way the Book of Proverbs talks about it points this out.

The larger point is foolishness and wisdom. Sensuality is an illustration of it, but in our world, often our world talks about your sexuality as if it's the core of who you are. It is your identity, is what the world tells you. God says it's an illustration of something way bigger.

Everybody, but especially young people, in a million different ways, the world is gonna tell you that your worth is tied up in your attractiveness.

That's garbage.

The world will tell you that your physicality is your identity. That's not true. The world will tell you that your sexuality is what will fulfill you, and that is not true. Our world looks at sexuality as if it's gonna do something ultimate and important and huge, that it was never intended to do. Your identity, your worth, your fulfillment is not found there.

The World Undervalues Sexuality

But in another way, our world massively undervalues sexuality. It cheapens it. It treats our bodies like a kind of currency that you can spend by sharing or enjoying it so that you get worth identity and fulfillment. But humans are not currency to be spent. They are people to be loved.

Our world's full of people who want to be loved, and they're trying to find it this way, and it will never work.

Human sexuality was always intended by God to physically express joyful union, to be an expression of committed unguarded sharing of one another, personally, not physically.

Within a marriage covenant where two people lovingly and trustingly share their entire selves with one another. Human sexuality is wonderful, and we as Christians have to say that. 'Cause God made it, and he made it good.

Outside of a covenant where two people lovingly trustingly share their entire selves with each other. When we separate sharing of bodies from sharing of self, it's destructive. Inside that marriage, it's wonderful.

Orland used a great illustration of this. He talked about fire in a fireplace. If you put fire in a fireplace, it's great. It's warm. Operates within its boundaries. It feels good. It gives you, who doesn't love to just look at fire? I love just watching the flames dance around, even if I'm too far to feel the flame. Even we put in these like fake flames dancing around, right? And we kind of enjoy that.

But if there's a fire burning anywhere else in my house, it's destructive. The fire's the same, but how you use it determines the result.

God's plan is for one man and one woman to share their bodies in a context of covenant commitment that allows them to safely and completely share their souls.

Maybe some of what I just said, in fact, I'm gonna bet it does, for many of you. Some of this probably hurts.

I feel some of that weight. And I'm gonna come back to it in just a minute. I want you to hang with me just a little bit longer.

Should We Throw Off Human Attraction Entirely?

We might think if evil can be beautiful, then maybe beauty shouldn't exist at all. Or maybe I shouldn't enjoy that beauty. Or we could say it this way. If immorality can seem attractive, maybe it'd be better if I just didn't feel attraction at all. But that's not where this text lets you go. 'cause he goes on to say, drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad? Streams of water in the streets. Let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

He tells them, enjoy God's good gift first on the level of physicality. Enjoy it.

It is kind of like a smartphone is a wonderful tool for some things. It's a really, really bad hammer, and if you try to use it like a hammer, all you do is show that you really don't understand a smartphone. The same way God has given you a wonderful gift if you use it the way he says to use it.

If you use a smartphone like a hammer, it'll break. If you use a physical relationship between a man and a woman in a way that's not in context of lovingly trustingly, covenantal, sharing all of you together, it'll break, just like a smartphone.

Talk to Your Kids

So the teacher looks at the person who's learning in Proverbs. And the teacher says, enjoy the wife of your youth.

It's interesting, he has this, this statement in verse 17, 18, and 19. They all start in the ESV with the word ""let,"" let them be or let your fountain. He continues when he says that it's a prayer formula.

That's the way they describe prayers, uses the exact same words often. In other words, this teacher. Is praying over the person who would learn that that son's marriage relationship would be wonderfully, physically, fulfilling in the right context. It's not something that happens somewhere else, and then you pray that God does something else. He's praying for it.

Parents, if the teacher of the Book of Proverbs talks like this to their kids, you'd better talk to your kids about sexuality.

They're going to hear about it. They need to hear about the wonderful aspects of it that God has made. I need to hear his purpose and why.

The teacher in Proverbs thought those verses 15 down through 20 were important to tell young people that he was teaching. We have to do it to parents.

Enjoy Your Spouse

He is praying that the son here would rejoice within this relationship where he can freely share. Now, I know as I said earlier, the emphasis here is on the male 'cause he is training young princes. If we were to go to the book of Song of Solomon, we could find plenty from the other side.

So you can, you can apply it the exact same way. They are supposed to enjoy one another. The husband and wife are supposed to enjoy one another. He uses the phrase ""a lovely deer"" to describe his wife. That may not register with you because we think in our world, I hunt deer. That's not really what he's going after. Um, we're not shooting anything. What he's doing is saying, just like a deer can be graceful, and you see a deer, you know, run across a field, and jump over a fence, and it's just a beautiful thing. Visually. He's saying, may your wife delight you visually like that.

He says To rejoice in your wife at all times, to be filled with delight. He says, be intoxicated always in her love. If you're not married and you're like, oh man, this doesn't apply to me. Hang on, I'm coming back. Be intoxicated. So husbands, you are supposed to be crazy drunk in love with your wife physically, because, because you share your souls in a healthy, committed way.

Wives, and I'm being stereotypical here, you could flip it. Wives be crazy drunk in love with your husband relationally because you are committed to sharing yourselves together, at all times.

In other words, we could say this, I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna leave it. But we could say, marriage is not the place for inhibitions.

If you read those verses, you'll see not only what he's saying should happen, but what he is praying for. God do this.

Be Crazy Drunk in Love with Wisdom

Then he continues in verse 20, why on earth would you be crazy drunk with someone you can't trust with your whole soul? Again, this is on two levels, so if you're not married, you're like, oh, good, that doesn't apply to me.

No, no, no, because immorality is the illustration. Foolishness and wisdom is actually the point.

So we could say it this way. Everybody, however young you are, however married or not married, you are. However you're like, I'm never getting married. Doesn't matter. Everybody, this text, the point of that section, the real point is to drive you to say, be crazy drunk in love with wisdom. That's actually his point.

He's illustrating it with things that we need to hear, but his point is be ecstatically, joyful in love with wisdom. Because there's a deep, deep parallel here. God designed sexuality in marriage to be an outward sharing of bodies where you can trust the other person in commitment to share your soul with them. In other words, you can share bodies because there's this trust.

Part of what's problematic with immorality is that the outward expression gets separated from the trust. We'll see more of that in chapter seven in a few weeks. But the same thing is true of wisdom.

Think about it. If you pursue folly, we might all have our areas that we think, oh, I can pursue folly in this area, but we all know you can't be foolish in every area. Right? None of us think that's a good plan. We think I can be a little foolish here as long as I'm okay over here.

See, foolishness is like an immoral relationship. That's why it's an adulterous folly because you can try to dabble with a piece of it, but if you commit yourself to foolishness, it will destroy you. You can be wise in absolutely every area of your life, and it won't harm you. He is drawing this exact parallel to say, you should be wholeheartedly ecstatic towards God's wisdom because you can entrust every single area of your life to God's wisdom.

Or we could say, rejoice in the wisdom God has shown you at all times. Let it be your delight. Be intoxicated. Always in the love of wisdom. That's the parallel he's drawing for you.

Look to God for Hope

Now, I wanna come back 'cause at least some of you, and probably all of you at some level would say there's things here that are really uncomfortable. There's things here that hurt. Maybe you say, you don't know my life. You don't know my sexual pain, you don't know my spouse. You don't know what happened to me. Maybe honestly, you heard me some. And you say, how dare you?

You're right. I don't know. I don't know your life, but God does. And he has given you the path of hope. Don't let God's steadfast love and faithfulness depart from you. Trust him in everything. Don't lean on your understanding and accept his training and teaching. That's the path of hope.

Maybe you think, I understand this is God's design, but there is so much hurt and brokenness. I can't just fix this physical relationship. And pretend nothing's happened.

I'm not in any way saying, fix your sexuality and ignore what broke it in the first place. I'm not. The whole reason God endorses sexuality within marriage is because it's a wonderful gift to express true relational unity. So God is not telling you, ignore relational unity. Don't do anything towards that and just fix the physical side. That would be ridiculous.

However, even in the best experiences, your spouse is not all that you need, and they cannot be. They are sinners. And there's only one person who can bring real healing, and if you trust him with your heart, bride of Christ, he is your true husband, and he will never hurt you. He is the one you can have perfect, committed intimacy with. And the Book of Proverbs has reminded you of this. Don't let steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you. Remember his love. Remember that your true husband, Jesus Christ, loves you. Deeper than you could possibly imagine. And he can bring healing.

I know the hurt in situations like this is way more complicated than we could ever really talk about in a room like this. So I wanna also say, if that's you, and you say there's, there's hurt, there's challenge. I can't fix it. I can't find the hope. By God's grace. You're here this morning. He knew that.

I didn't plan Proverbs five for a Sunday you would be here. I planned Proverbs five because we were going through Proverbs, but God planned it. God has his purposes. So I invite you. There's a church full of people here who don't have it all figured out, and who will disappoint you in a million ways because we're sinners, but who want to point you to your true husband, Jesus Christ.

And if you come talk to some of us, we will either talk with you or find somebody who can. 'Cause no matter who you are, you are not currency to be spent. You're a person to be loved and your true husband loved you enough to die on the cross for you.

Some of you feel the weight of the illustration and the pain. Others of you maybe don't feel that weight quite so much. That's okay. 'cause remember, his point is not about adultery, immorality, or sensuality. His bigger point is about wisdom and foolishness. Evil does not always look ugly. So I want to ask you, and I would invite you just to take, we'll, we'll pause for a minute, and go to God. Deal with him as he works in your heart.

But I want to ask you this question, what foolishness or what evil looks good to you?

Maybe it's immorality. But maybe it's something totally different.

What foolishness looks good to you? Ask God to show you that, and not just right now through this week, beg God to show you that, to protect you.

So I invite you just to go before the throne of our father and ask for his help.